UPDATED FEB 2020. If you are here for some real talk on solo traveling, then you’ve come to the right place. Today I’m talking about developing a solo travel mindset. I’ll be sharing 5 things you need to get over before you start taking solo trips. These things are my thoughts about some of the common traps people get into when they start. Most of them are just mindset traps that we fall into. I think shifting our perspective on these can help you have a fun and, most importantly, safe time traveling. If you’ve been thinking about diving into solo travel, I hope they can help in some way.
The Solo Travel Mindset – 5 Things To Get Over Before You Travel Solo
1. The world is fair
Before you start your solo travel adventures, it’s important to take off our rose-colored glasses that have us thinking the world is a fair place.
The reality is, it’s not.
I see this a lot with people saying things like ‘I should be able to wear what I want‘, ‘I should be able to walk wherever I want at any time of day‘ or ‘I should be able to have one night stands and not worry‘.
It reminds me of a quote one of my teachers taught us in high school “The world of should doesn’t belong in the world of is“.
In other words, it doesn’t matter how things should be, you need to keep it real and focus on how things are.
To me, this is one of the biggest curves to learn that will help you develop a realistic mindset to keep yourself safe while you’re out on the road.
To use one of those examples I mentioned above, sure, you should be able to walk wherever you want at any time of day. If everything was fair, that would be the case.
However, the world is not fair and the reality is that it would be riskier for a woman walking alone late at night or the early hours of the morning in a new city.
It’s better to develop a realistic perspective to accept things as they are and plan accordingly.
2. Everyone is out to get you
I think a lot of solo travel is balancing ‘have fun, not everyone is out to get you’ and ‘be careful, they might be out to get you’.
To be able to embrace your experience and have positive interactions with the people you meet, it’s important to let go of the fear-based narrative that is shoved down our throats that the world is scary and everyone is out to kill you.
Again, that’s just not the reality of the situation. There are a lot of good people in the world too.
The solo travel mindset is mostly a balancing act though because it would be foolish to think that everyone has your best interests at heart and no one will take advantage of you.
You do need to be a little street smart, be aware, and be able to read people and situations to keep yourself safe, and balance that will the understanding that not everyone is out to hurt you.
#solofemaletravel is basically just finding a balance between ‘have fun, not everyone is out to get you’ & ‘watch out, they could be out to get you’
— Katie McIntosh ✈️ (@katieshowblog) April 5, 2019
3. You need to always be polite
I feel as though as women it’s almost ingrained in us that we need to be polite to everyone.
How many times have you heard someone tell you about how they were put in an uncomfortable situation and they didn’t speak up because they didn’t want to appear rude.
I’ve even read accounts of women being attacked and not fighting back because they were worried about upsetting the attacker.
Of course, it’s nice to be kind and polite, but while you are solo traveling, it’s important to remember that it’s perfectly OK to:
- walk past people catcalling and not engage with them
- say no and be firm
- walk away from people who are making you uncomfortable
- ask someone to leave you alone
- have a resting bitch face
Some of these things might seem rude at first. But, it’s important to get over this idea that you protecting everyone’s feelings is more important than you being safe.
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4. Someone will always save you
This is one that I blame on movies/fairytales. I think it’s given people what I call a Prince Charming complex at times.
I have noticed some people have been blasé about their actions because in the back of their minds they think that there’ll be someone to save the day. Just like in the movies.
In real life, you need to take care of yourself.
When I was in Milan, I was buying a train ticket and was surrounded by four men who grabbed my stuff and tried to steal my ticket. I fought back with a push and shove and was very lucky that they left and I was unharmed.
If I passively waited for someone to save me, it might not have turned out that way.
And, in reality, I shouldn’t have put myself in that position to start with. I should’ve stayed upstairs which was less isolated and bought the train ticket on my phone.
I think it’s important to take responsibility for all your actions. That goes for traveling and at home.
It’s important to get over this idea that someone will swoop in and help you if things turn bad.
If you plan to travel solo, you need to take care of you. You need to be prepared to fight for yourself, and you need to mitigate the risk with the decisions you make as best as you possibly can.
5. Fear of being alone
It’s so natural to have a fear of being alone. After all, we humans are a pack animal.
We survive in groups and are social creatures – even us awkward ones like me.
If you feel scared to be alone while traveling, to walk around a city alone, eat a meal alone or anything like that, don’t worry. It’s very normal to feel that way.
If you want to embrace the solo travel experience, you do have to get over that fear a little though.
Before you take your trip, you can start building the solo travel mindset by doing some things by yourself.
If they make you uncomfortable, that’s good. Watch a movie at the cinema alone, try a new gym class alone, go out for a meal in a restaurant alone.
You can even just walk around town by yourself.
It will help dissolve that fear and build confidence for when you take your trip.
At the end of the day, solo travel isn’t for everyone. Some people love it and some hate it.
If you were thinking of trying it, I hope this post has helped give some tips to make it a safe and enjoyable time.
Other solo travel guides you might enjoy
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